How did socialism shaped my identity?
Posted by MadPole on 7th May 2009
Originally posted on flickr but I decided to “keep” it here as well with a view of potentially expanding on it in the future (i.e. never)
Below is my “skimpy” and purely personal contribution to “identity shaped by ’socialist communism’ in Poland”, ‘purely personal’ because different groups of people had entirely different , sometimes totally opposite experiences, depending on their age, family status, political or religious beliefs and so on….
My brief background: born in Poland in 1963, both parents very poor farming background who made it to the Big Town: Warsaw and managed to get higher education - I guess all thanks to ’socialism’ – they would have stood no chance in pre-WWII era. So here is first horrifying realization: I owe my identity, my “who I am” to ’socialism’ - because without it my parents would have never met as students and therefore I would not have been conceived, not to those parents anyway.
I found growing up in Poland a bizarre and surreal dual-reality – we were ’socialist’ country but our socialism did not conform to many obligatory principles of Communism. Everybody was poor – but many could afford “luxury” items such as cars or colour TVs - which were beyond their official earning potential. There was no food in the shops at certain times – but usually there was always food on the tables whomever one visited. Religion and Church were frowned upon by officialdom – yet not going to church was frowned upon probably even more socially. Most people went to “International Workers Day” 1st of May celebrations – yet most of them were just laughing their heads off at all this nonsense. The list could go on and on. It was, in a way, like playing some kind of kids “pretend” game – there were adults who would tell us what to think and how to behave (party officials) and there were kids who were nodding their heads while “misbehaving” - thinking and doing what suited them best. What made it even more bizarre was that most of the “adults” were “kids” as well – party officials who would condemn the church officially but secretly attend the mass every Sunday for example.
How did it shape the identity of myself and perhaps others of my age? This may sound very arrogant – but I believe this “dual-reality”, being “neither here nor there”, not having a straight, narrow line to follow made us very open-minded and resourceful. We had “polish socialism” dogma, we had Catholic dogma, we had Russian Communism dogma, we had “western capitalism“ dreams and we had most of the western and eastern art and philosophies freely accessible to us. Usually it was pretty difficult to obtain anything by means of a simple purchase or service – one always had to think of some schemes how to get the money, and if you had money – how to get the goods: how to get a car (5 year+ waiting queue otherwise), how to get food on the table which wasn’t in the shops, how to make alcohol when none was available, how to buy furniture, toilet paper, colour TV – having money did not equal with possession – one had to work hard, networking, joining some list-queues, giving right presents to the right people in order to obtain goods or service for those money. This may sound like corrupting environment but on the contrary: I think it strengthened one’s Ego’s and Soul’s integrity – there was black, there was white and everyday life happened in the spectrum of all colours in-between. “Networking” - “one hand washes another”; helping each other – was an essential way of living deeply embedded in our psyche - it is quite funny how the “western world” is trying to re-invent and “package” this simple basic human behaviour as some kind of “product”.
We also didn’t have much choice, if any at all: whether it was clothes, TV sets, cars, furniture, toilet paper, education, meat or accommodation – there was very limited variety of products and services – and I find it very liberating, educating and character building too – instead of wasting one’s mental energies on impossible decisions such as which car is the best buy, which energy company is cheapest, which mobile phone package is the most appropriate – one was free to spend this energy on other things, personal explorations, love and friendships, hobbies, learning or having fun time for example.
There was also another “dual reality” - social differences: we drove a car, my grandparents drove a cart and horses, we lived in a flat supplied with water, gas, electricity, bathroom and toilet – my grandparents lived in a house which only had electricity – the water came from the stream nearby, coal was used for cooking and heating, the toilet was a wooden shed outside, one had a quick wash using small basin in the kitchen. Those differences also forced one’s mind to realize that “things are never what they seem to be” - we were perhaps conformist but we weren’t uniform, my family’s town living with modern comforts wasn’t “better” - just “different” - it forced one to question what “being better off” really means, weakening judgemental nature of Ego. There was no strong class division or discrimination that I remember – we all came from more less the same poor background, we all had to struggle to make the ends meet, we all had the same oppressor – we were “all in it together”.
All in all – and I have to stress again that those are just my personal thoughts and experiences – the identity ’socialism’ shaped me, and perhaps others, into was “goły ale wesoły” - “naked/poor but happy” - focus is on enjoyment in life – material possessions serve to enhance it – but they can never provide it.
Cheerio!
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