Gym – pain in order to feel better. Same with “human dramas”. There is no point going through them if they do not serve any purpose. With gym the link between pain, suffering and feeling better as a result is very clear and straightforward. Not so with “human dramas”. Worse, it is very easy and natural to get “stuck”, “trapped” in a drama, like a light trapped by a black hole. And then our whole self becomes a drama, a dog chasing its own tail, there is “nobody outside” to pull us out of this bog we are totally immersed in.

Dramas are good, dramas are essential for personal growth but one always has to be on a lookout, one always has to ask oneself a simple question: am I progressing or am I stuck, running around in circles, like a moth circling around the light that will finally destroy it? One always has to aim for “progress”, for growth, one always has to see in a drama a spec of opportunity for personal improvement, a seed violently and painfully breaking apart in order to give a way to a new, wonderful and full of enthusiastic, vibrant energy sprout.

And it is important to split oneself into two entities: there is I, a participant, who is totally immersed in drama, pain and suffering and not capable to see anything outside it. And there is I, an observer, rational and compassionate observer who never looses the sight of the “bigger picture” and who can clearly see how the current drama can help to enrich one’s personal, emotional and spiritual well being.

This “personality split” can be achieved in many different ways: through meditation, contemplation, confirmations, affirmations, inspiring films, books, words, walking and observing nature, various therapies etc. etc…..

We are not moths. We circle around the light throughout our lives in order to be light-er rather than being destroyed. And hence it is vital, essential, critical that we crawl out of any black hole we fell in at any cost so we can progress on our journey.

[...] you are a slave, Neo. Like everyone else, you were born into bondage, born inside a prison that you cannot smell, taste, or touch. A prison for your mind.

–Morpheus

We can live in our thoughts, we can live our thoughts, we can be our thoughts, caught up in dramas generated by our minds, thinking, analysing, obsessing, re-living, agonizing, shortly: digesting the thought food supplied to us by our brain – that’s the Blue Pill, Virtual Reality, Bondage we were all born into.

Luckily, as creatures equipped with consciousness, we also possess a seemingly hidden from us ability to distance ourselves from our thoughts, ability to allow them to exist without actually us paying too much attention to them, without us acting upon them, without us reacting to them – that’s the Red Pill, Quantum Reality, being the Observer of the Experiment called “life” rather than laboratory animal being experimented on by our very own mind.

The choice is ours but it is important to consider Morpheus’ words here:

I didn’t say it would be easy, Neo. I just said it would be the truth

–Morpheus

Those words are absolutely critical: many of us bravely decided to take the Red Pill, but in a wrong arrogant belief that it would somehow give us an advantage, improve quality of our lives, enable us to have more control over Virtual Reality we have to deal with every day, free us from the bondage we were born into. What Morpheus is trying to emphasise then, and many of us had a pleasure of painfully learning that lesson themselves, is that taking the Red Pill does not automatically “make things better” – it is often, in fact, that taking the Red Pill makes things seemingly worse, to start with anyway – so it is vital that we understand our choice and the reasons behind it if we are determined to stand by it.

Why would anybody want to take the Red Pill then? Because, IMHO, that is the only choice we have, even though Blue Pill not only sounds more attractive, but also seems to make much more sense.

The reason why Blue Pill does not represent any choice is simple:
“everything we pay attention to grows”
If we chose to live our thoughts, listen to them, pay respect and cultivate them, effectively becoming their slaves – then they will just grow larger, hungrier, more demanding, and haunting, knowing that we have become dependant on them, until we will get totally trapped in them, unable to escape, stuck in a Virtual World of our own anguish which, over time, will become more and more unbearable, a living Hell.
Blue Pill is like any drug addiction – sooner or later it will start to bring in increasing misery, agony and suffering – its original purpose and attraction lost. Our investment in Blue Pill will cease to pay off and our losses will just keep mounting up over time.

The reason why Red Pill is the only choice is simple, for the very same reason:
“everything we pay attention to grows”
If we stop paying attention to our thoughts so deeply and passionately, particularly to unwanted ones, they will stop growing and slowly start to wither away, for they won’t feel needed anymore and there won’t be anything they can cling, hang on to. Our investment in Red Pill will start to pay off and our profits will just keep mounting up over time.

But the choice of becoming an Observer is not an easy one – some parts of us will still be deeply locked in Virtual Reality Bondage and therefore we will have to maintain the state of “dual reality” – being an Observer as well as a person trapped in his/her own Virtual Reality. And how will we know which is which?
One also has to accept the fact that one will never be able to fully free oneself from the Blue Pill Birth Bondage – Red Pill is not an absolute, guaranteed solution – it is an “every little helps” remedy.

Being a Prisoner of one’s own thoughts is a Living Hell
Being an Observer of one’s own thoughts is a Good Laugh

One single negative thought we managed to eradicate from our mind is one single improvement in quality of our lives, and therefore lives of others and the Universe as a whole. “Old habits die hard” implies that any newly learnt habit becomes more and more permanent over time. “Practise makes it permanent” as they say.

Harmony naturally results in a deep silence, joy, delight.
Conflict results in anxiety, anguish, stress, tension.
The EGO is nothing but all the tensions that you have created around
yourself.

–Osho

Now then:
Let’s consider for a moment a balloon being filled with air. If we continue filling balloon with air – it will explode sooner or later. But if we make a tiny hole in it – some of the air will be escaping. The explosion will not be as powerful and entirely different – because of this tiny little hole.
Or, if we consider a particle in its un-determined state – even a sneak glance at it, a minute observation, will determine at least some of its state – and therefore particle will lose its infinitive potential of being anything.

Therefore any useless speculation on what is or will be actually chips away from what is or will be, dilutes it. It is like watching the balloon filling with air, not knowing that there is a tiny hole in it somewhere.

Furthermore we are, particularly these days, “digital creatures”… we think in “digital”, not analogue, we think in “steps”, we think in “if this then that” procedural language.
But we also know that everything, including our brains, is analogue. Therefore there are always “gaps” between “steps”, between “this or that”, we think, we perceive, we analyse, we speak – always digitally, always from one point to the next, missing the gaps in between points.

Therefore the outcome we expect is always “skewed”, inaccurate, or not even resembling our “trend predictions” – because we are entirely blind to half of the “story”… i.e. “gaps”

The more we try to predict, analyse, define, describe – the more “gaps” we create in the process… and hence the more we move away from what is really happening. One could say that the “real life” is happening exactly “there” – in the field of gaps which we cannot perceive, due to digital, logical “yes or no” nature of our brains, due to the fact that we think in order to determine.

And I start to think that this is where “being in touch with oneself” term originates from. It is not a metaphor, it is actually an act of Mind touching, “linking” with the Heart, on vibrational level, thus creating an envelope of stillness and silence, embracing the field of potential, rather than panickly trying to dissolve it with thoughts and/or words.

It is only natural. We are scared of stillness and silence, energy seemingly not moving, not manifesting itself – for we simply and quite logically equate it with Death.

“Being in Touch with Oneself” is a practice, a method, of opening oneself to those “gaps”, learning to acknowledge them, learning to CONCIOUSLY live through them, and, first of all of course hehehehehe, learning to unlearn the fear of them.

(:o

P.S.

• Some people touch the area of their heart in order to confirm/re-affirm that they are trying to get “in touch” hehehehehehe
• Eadon tells me: So getting in touch with reality is touch in the sense of “observation”, by observing ourselves, we make ourselves reality and hence learn about ourselves, hence getting in touch with ourselves.

All I am trying to say is that Comfort Zones is what one seeks more and more the older one gets. Which means preference to put up with whatever we have rather than facing a change of getting something better.

(:o

But the temptation, this rather crazy temptation and craving to indulge in a good douse of self-pity by means of regret and to stimulate one’s blood circulation with an aid of blood boiling envy is still there.

And it is all too easy to give in to this allure, to get caught in the web of its entrapment, it always starts with one, harmless, unimportant, nearly idle thought… followed by another one… followed by another one….followed by another one…and before we know it we find ourselves clinching our fists in our minds, feeling angry at some injustice, some depravation we probably cannot even grasp the facts of. “One thing leads to another” they say and so it does, so it does. But it all starts from “one thought leads to another”. One innocent thought reflected in the wrong direction can turn into an emotional and spiritual turmoil that will eat away our very well being and over-cloud our shining soul.

There are no winners where regret or envy is concerned, only losers. It could be argued that a “healthy” envy can boost one’s determination to “better oneself”, but what I mean by envy here is “why I can’t have what he/she has?” type of envy, the sometimes nearly automatic “Why me? Why not me? I deserve it more, there is no justifce in this world” victim role playing kind of envy, “grass is always greener on the other side” and stuff like that.

Regret and Envy are, of course, but only two simple examples out of the infinite Universe of thoughts that are unhealthy and / or dangerous. Thoughts that awaken our internal rage is another one. All this multitude of totally pointless and damaging thoughts is accessible to us constantly, but it is, allegedly, still within the grasp of our conscious choice to promote or demote such thoughts.

The parallel with a substance, or perhaps any other addiction or obsession feels very strong here. An addict does not feed his addiction in order to increase his well being. An addict feeds his addiction in order to stop the decrease of his well being caused by withdraw symptoms. This is a vicious spiral pointed directly downwards. And the higher up one has been lifted by the initial romantic period of relationship with an addiction – the harder one will hit the ground at the end.

Think about it HAHAHAHAHA! What any indulgence is all about? Isn’t it about “oh, just one more, just one last one”? And our indulgence in harmful thought habits is no different, just much more dangerous than anything else, because it is our thoughts from which our reality stems and expands, and it is also in the realm of our thoughts where every aspect of our reality and our perceptions is assessed and evaluated, and sometimes hidden from ourselves all together, “one more will not do any harm”, is that a harmful thought? We might never know, for although we might be thinking that thought continuously when indulging in a pleasure of our choice – we might never know that we do.

Oh yes Sirs, Ladies and Gents, Hens and Stags, Fionas and Dudes, there is no beating about the bush here, there is no such concept as “objectivity” when it comes to thoughts, every feeling, every emotion, every sentence we evaluate comes down to “some thoughts” examining some “other thoughts”, and when subconscious mind wants to have something its way, it will secretly tamper with evaluating thoughts, bribe the judges, change the Laws and damn make sure that the outcome of the evaluation is what subconcious wanted, not what it is “objectively”.

Objectively speaking though, I think this has become long enough to earn a commercial break followed by part II.